I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
