do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
