just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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