I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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