I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Green mimosas i think yes
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize