omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
