I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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