i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Randomize
