You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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