i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize