we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
