Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
