All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
And then he peed in my hair
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