matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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