Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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