We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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