remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
