i permit you to call me
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
