we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Sober January is a disaster.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
