i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
