Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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