physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
