You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
