Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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