He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
