was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Operation Purity has been aborted
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
