I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
