I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
