Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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