Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
