It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
