i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
