So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
