Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
