she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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