So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
