So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
