halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
only you would photoshop your dick
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
