I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize
