That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
