one two three fourrrrnication!
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
