Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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