WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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