ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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