just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
love makes seman taste better
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
