WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
