forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
