Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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