I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
