at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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