I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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