Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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