And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
