But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
