Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
