you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
