speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
