There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Too much gin, very little bucket
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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