i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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