Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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